Lean on Me

Well, the dreaded 50^th birthday came and went and was actually very nice.  As much as I thought I wanted to totally ignore it that would have made me miserable.  Lucky for me I have a wonderful friend who knows me well enough (sometimes better then I know myself) to know that.  So we went out to dinner together and she helped me have a good time.  Where would any of us be without our friends?

Actually, the “angst” of turning 50 was overshadowed BIG TIME by a phone call a few weeks ago from TL, my daughter-in-law.  My son D is in the Navy and they are living 300 miles away in Virginia.  TL is one of the few people who actually grasps the fact that since I work nightshift calling me middle of the day is like a middle of the night call, so she will usually send me a text message saying “call when you get up”.  When the phone rang and I saw it was her I felt a sense of dread.  I answered the phone and she said very quietly “I got a call from the doctor’s office saying they got the biopsy results and I have breast cancer”.  My first thought was this has to be a sick joke, since when do they report things like that over the phone?  Then it hit that this was real and my brain started racing over figuring out logistics.  To make a long story short, three days later I was in the car driving to their house to go with them to the appointment with the surgeon.  Hey, what’s the point in having a nurse in the family if they can’t help translate from “medical speak” and answer the questions you usually think of after you leave the office!  So now TL is looking at a bilateral mastectomy and we’re trying to work out the logistics of her surgery and my son’s impending departure for 6 months at sea.  Oh, and did I forget to mention they have a very active two year old son? Although I guess that is redundant, since aren’t all two year old boys very active?  Luckily, her parents are retired so have more freedom to go down to help out and I’ll go down for the week after surgery.  We are assuming that after surgery and recuperation time all will be “back to normal” and cancer will be behind her.  No, that is not denial, that is called positive thinking! 

And we do have a lot to feel positive about.  TL has a medical team she trusts and feels good about (mainly her 2 surgeons and the clinical coordinator for the Breast Clinic) which is a major positive.  Friends, family members and co-workers have been very helpful and supportive.  The same friend who took me out for my birthday has been wonderfully patient while I have gone on and on about what is happening in VA, has listened to me whine about how this isn’t fair and has put up with my distraction and has just let me know she is there for me.  My co-workers have offered to cover shifts, help me work out logistics for time off and even offered to transfer vacation time from their “time bank” to mine!  One co-worker said to think of it as  payback for shifts I have covered in the past, that “what goes around, comes around” is not always a negative statement. 

Which brings me to the song quote for this post, Bill Wither’s “Lean on Me”.  Liked this one as a teenager, now it seems even more relevant.

If there is a load you have to bear
That you can't carry
I'm right up the road
I'll share your load
If you just call me

So just call on me brother, when you need a hand
We all need somebody to lean on
I just might have a problem that you'd understand
We all need somebody to lean on

Lean on me when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
Till I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on