Fifty years, five decades, half a century. No matter how you describe it that's a long time. So why doesn't it seem that long while living it? Maybe I've just been too busy to stop and notice or I've been trying too hard to just make it to this or that goal or milestone to notice time going by. So now is my time to stop and notice, my time to look back and remember and to look forward and dream.
Despite an AMAZING lack of musical talent, ( my husband used to tease me that when I sang to my sons at bedtime they went to sleep in self defense!) I have always been fond of "theme songs" for whatever life stage I'm going through. My current theme song is an old song by Judy Collins called Both Sides Now. When my sons were young they would ask for it at bedtime saying "Sing the cloud song Mommy" The final refrain goes:
I've looked at life from both sides now
From win and lose and still somehow
It's life's illusions I recall
I really don't know life at all.
That is how I feel lately. Maybe I'm naive by some subconscious choice, maybe I'm just not quite wise enough yet to recognise truth versus illusion (maybe I never will be!) or maybe all of us cling to illusions of what our life has been because that is how we survive. Whatever the reason, I'm keeping my illusions because, as Anne Frank said in her diary, "Despite everything, I believe that people are really good at heart."
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